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| [Photo for Illustration Only] بِسْمِ اللّٰهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيْمِ اَلْحَمْدُ للّٰهِ رَبِّ العَالَمِيْنَ وَالصَّلاَةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلىَ اَشْرَفِ اْللأَنْبِيَاءِ وَالْمُرْسَلِيْنَ سَيِّدِناَ وَمَوْلٰنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى اٰلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ اَجْمَعِيْنَ، اَمَّا بَعْدُ. |
When the rumor that the Muslims were defeated and that Rasulullahﷺ was martyred during the Battle of Uhud reached Madinah, one of the women that ran to the battlefront was Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه.
Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه.’s father, husband, brother, and son also took part in the Battle of Uhud. However, Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه was wondering about Rasulullahﷺ more than her family. When Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه arrived at Uhud, Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه saw the dead bodies of her father, husband, brother and son in pieces. All of them had been martyred. The Companions gave Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه their condolences and asked her to be patient. However, Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه asked about the Messenger of Allahﷻ insistently, “How is Rasulullahﷺ? What is he doing?” They said, “Thank Allahﷻ, he is fine.” However, Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه did not believe them. Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه wanted to see Rasulullahﷺ. They told her where he was. Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه ran toward there. When she saw that Rasulullahﷺ was alive, she said, patiently and in reliance on Allahﷻ,
“O Rasulullahﷺ! May my mother and father be sacrificed for you! All misfortunes are all right for me since you are alive.”
Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه believed that she would be able to see her father, brother, and husband in the hereafter. For, they gained a high rank by becoming martyrs in the way of Allahﷻ. There was no need to feel sorry for them. In fact, she would also have seen Rasulullahﷺ in the hereafter if he had been martyred but Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه wanted to see him again in the world and learn more things from him.
On the other hand, Islam would have continued to illuminate hearts. Others would have replaced them. However, if Rasulullahﷺ had been harmed, what would have happened to the Muslims? That was why she wondered about the health of Rasulullahﷺ. They liked Rasulullahﷺ like that. This secret elevated them and made them too high to reach.[1]
A group of women from the tribe of Ghifar approached the Prophet Muhammad Rasulullahﷺ to seek his permission to tend to the wounded during the battle of Khaybar. Rasulullahﷺ welcomed their request, giving them permission, stating, “By the blessings of God.”
With this group of women was a young girl named Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه. She shares with us her own part of the story.
“Then we set out with him. I was a young girl. Rasulullahﷺ made me sit on his she-camel behind the luggage. I saw the bag had got traces of blood from me. It was the first time I had a period. Then I sat forward on the camel [to hide it] and I was embarrassed. When Rasulullahﷺ saw what happened to me and the traces of blood, he said, “Perhaps you have had menstrual bleeding?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “Attend to yourself. Then, take a container of water, then put salt in it, then wash the affected part of the bag, then come back.” I did so. When Allahﷻ permitted the conquered Khaybar for us, Rasulullahﷺ took this necklace that you see on my neck and gave it to me and put it on my neck with his own hand. By Allahﷻ, it will never be parted from me.” Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه wore the necklace her entire life and stipulated that she should be buried with it. [2]
Let us take a few lessons from this incredible narration. From it, we can take lessons on the perspectives and proactive attitudes of these female companions of Rasulullahﷺ. From it, we can also take incredible lessons in chivalry and beautiful interactions between Rasulullahﷺ and the women in his community.
Let us begin by considering the perspective of the women who came to offer their skills to Rasulullahﷺ. They didn’t say, “What’s up with Islam? Why aren’t women obligated to fight in this battle just like men?!”
These women understood the wisdom of Allahﷻ (exalted is He) in every ruling and situation. They knew they could participate and be rewarded if they did so (like Nusayba bint Kab who personally defended Rasulullahﷺ in the Battle of Uhud), but were not mandated to do so. They realized that there was mercy in the lifted obligation and they were those who realized the wisdom in the fact that there were differences in obligations.
Nevertheless, simply because they were not mandated to participate in the battle did not stop them from doing their part, in whatever way they felt they could be most effective. They did not sit around complaining or waiting to be asked; they simply did. Perhaps we can take from their examples as Muslim women in our own communities.
How many of us complain about the men’s side of the prayer hall being vastly greater in size or in cleanliness? How many of us feel incredible frustration when we cannot hear the prayer because small children are screaming around us or because the microphone stops working? We have tangible issues to complain about, no doubt. However, what are we doing, as women, with the means that we already have? What are we doing in our current situation?
Are we talking throughout the khutbah (Friday sermon) when we know we are supposed to remain silent and listen attentively? When two of us cannot pray, are we speaking while everyone else is praying and potentially disturbing those struggling to concentrate on their prayers? Are we watching after our own children or helping other sisters watch after theirs? Are we bringing in food for ourselves or our children and leaving crumbs and spilled drinks on the once-clean prayer carpet, despite the specific signs that request that all food remain outside? Are we dumping our shoes in front of the shoe racks instead of on the shoe racks and creating potential blockages for the elderly and hazards in the case of emergencies?
What are we doing with what we have, considering the situations that we are in? Look at these women. They proactively took a leadership position in offering to help in a battle and service the community. How can we also learn to follow their example in our own lives?
On the other end, the women in this example also did not say, “We’re just going to sit around and once Prince Muslim comes along, then we’ll get involved and work on becoming better Muslimahs.” This might seem far-fetched, but how many of us have heard or said statements such as, “I want to get married because then my husband will wake me up for qiyam (late-night prayer) and Fajr!” However, oftentimes, those of us who say things like this are not doing those actions on our own.
Getting married isn’t going to solve our inability to wake up for Fajr or get up for Qiyam. We need to develop our own selves without expecting marriage to somehow magically change our lives. Marriage can be a great tool for self-improvement and can help us change for the better, with Allahﷻ’s will. Marriage is amongst the greatest blessings that Allahﷻ can bestow on a person; and the creation of a family, and taking care of that family, are amongst the greatest acts of worship. But if we are not personally working on ourselves now, how can we expect that it will be easier with the additional baggage of another individual who is also imperfect?
What we see in the example of these women during early Islam is that they took action and sought to benefit the community through their work for the sake of Allahﷻ. These women looked at their personal situations, considered their personal skill sets, and realized that they could use the skills they had, in the time that they were needed, to benefit their society proactively. They did not dwell on how they could be perceived or make continuous excuses for why someone else should do it. How, too, can we follow their example?
Let us now look at the interaction of these women with Rasulullahﷺ and his conduct toward them. First, let’s address the incredible manhood of Rasulullahﷺ. As “the walking Qur’an,” Rasulullahﷺ had such an incredible demeanor that the women knew they could easily approach him and offer their services to the community. The relationship Rasulullahﷺ had built with women in his community was one of trust, empowerment, dignity, and appreciation. This is evident, most specifically, in the way that he, Rasulullahﷺ turned one of the most embarrassing moments Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه, the young girl, could have ever imagined into one of the fondest moments of her life.
When Rasulullahﷺ saw her blood, he did not embarrass her and shouted, “Astaghfirillah! (I seek refuge in Allahﷻ!) Sister! Haram! Now you are a fitna (trial)!” His first advice to her did not consist of ordering her to leave his presence now that she was an accountable young woman. Instead, Rasulullahﷺ taught her purification at that moment. Rasulullahﷺ showed her ease and naturalness in that moment. Rasulullahﷺ gave her a necklace, which Rasulullahﷺ personally placed on her with his blessed hands, and helped her feel honored and special at that moment.
How many young women do we know who are struggling with their self-esteem? What are we doing, as a community, to help build it up instead of tearing it down? How many young women have we told, “Cover up,” because they are a temptation to men? Instead of linking hijab (modesty) to loving Allahﷻ), we have often linked it to protecting men from women within the Muslim community. How many men have made comments such as, “Fitna just walked in,” without realizing the painful consequences on a female’s psyche when the only frame of reference her Muslim brother has for her is that she’s temptation?
All of these experiences have happened to me personally within the Muslim community and also to many women that I know. The methodology in which women are made to feel that they are the ultimate fitna psychologically damages women’s understanding of Islam and their self-esteem. It cripples a natural, normative relationship in which men and women work together for the benefit of society and forces men and women to fear being around one another in unnatural ways. This is not from Rasulullahﷺ.
We take from the example of Rasulullahﷺ that he let people live comfortably around him so that even when something could have turned into the most humiliating experience a woman could have ever imagined, that girl, at that moment, gained knowledge, nearness to Allahﷻ, and love of being with Rasulullahﷺ in the Hereafter. In our communities too, we need to re-evaluate the ways through which men and women interact and the rhetoric we use to describe women.
Let us look at the rhetoric of Rasulullahﷺ when he was asked by the women if they could participate. In his interaction with them, he verbally encouraged them. He didn’t say, “No. The men might be distracted by you and be tempted to leave the battlefield.” Instead, he specifically gave them the blessings of God.
We need to begin truly exemplifying the incredible character of Rasulullahﷺ who didn’t imply that Sumayra bint Qays رضي الله عنه and the women she was with would cause chaos on the battlefield if they were present. Rasulullahﷺ knew his community; he had developed the men and women in his community. The women in his community followed his example; they felt comfortable and confident approaching him (peace and blessings of God be upon him).
This is the type of respectful brotherhood and sisterhood we need to embody in our Islamic work, marriages, and lives. Their example teaches that men and women both have something to contribute and we need to be supportive of one another’s contributions when used for societal benefit. Allah (swt) tells us in Surat al-Tawbah:
“The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong establish prayer and give zakah [charity] and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those—Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.”
(Surah Tawbah : Ayat 9:71)
The above narration is full of lessons for us as a community in the West especially. Transforming challenges into opportunities is the methodology of Rasulullahﷺ. The women in this example were empowered to take action because of the teacher who built them and taught them to do so. This is Islam; the liberating, societally-benefiting, and revolutionary way of life that can transform even the most embarrassing experience into the fondest memory, cherished for life.
If this is Islam, if this is our religion, when will we put it into practice? When will we follow the example of these female companions of Rasulullahﷺ in our attitudes and our own lives? And even more urgently, is it not time that the beauty of Rasulullahﷺ began to touch those in our own communities through the virtue of our own actions?
References
[1] Hilya, 2: 71.
[2}((Nadwi, M. K. 2007. Al-Muhadithaat: The Women Scholars in Islam. London and Oxford: Interface Publications, pp. 59))
Proactive Women and the Prophet ﷺ
