Ummul
Habibah’s (RA) behaviour with Her Father. (Ramlah bt Abu Sufyan)
Ummul
Mukminin Ummi Habibah RA was first married before to Ubaidullah bin
Jahsh. She emigrated with her husband to Abyssinia. The husband
became a Christian and died there. While she was still passing her
days in Abyssinia as a widow, Nabi SAW sent his offer to marry her
through king Negus. She accepted the offer and came to Madinah
Munawwarah to live with Nabi SAW. During the period of peace between
the Muslims and the idol worshippers of Makkah Mukarramah, her father
Abu Sufyan (who was not yet a muslim) once came to Madinah Munawwarah
for talks about strengthening the peace treaty. He went to see Ummi
Habibah RA. As he was about to sit on the bedding in her room, she
removed it from under him. He was surprised over her behavior and
said:” Was the bedding unfit for me or I unfit for the bedding?"
She
replied: "This bedding is for the pure and dear Nabi SAW, while
you are an idolater and therefore unclean. How can I allow you to sit
on this bedding?" Abu Sufyan was full of sorrow and said, "Since
you left us, you have learned bad manners." The great respect
that she had for Nabi SAW, would not allow her to let an unclean
mushrik, even though he was her own father, to sit on Nabi's SAW
bedding. Once she came to know from Nabi SAW about the virtues of
twelve rakaats of Chasht. Since that time, she kept offering this
Solah regularly.
Her
father Abu Sufyan later accepted Islam. On the third day after his
death, she sent for some perfume and used it saying: "I neither
need nor like the perfume. I have heard Nabi SAW saying, 'A woman is
not allowed to mourn the death of any person (except her husband's)
for more than three days.
(The
mourning period in the case of a husband's death is four months and
ten days). I am using the perfume simply to show that I am not
mourning the death of my father any longer."
When
she was about to die, she sent for A`ishah RA and said: "We have
been rivals in sharing the love of Nabi SAW, it is just possible that
we might have hurt each other. I forgive you. Please forgive me too."
A`ishah said: "I forgive you by all means. May Allah forgive you
too."She replied: "O, A`ishah, you have made me very happy.
May Allah also keep you happy." She also sent for Ummi Salamah
RA and asked her forgiveness. The strain between two rival wives is
natural and common. Ummi Habibah RA wanted to be forgiven by people
before she appeared before Allah . Her respect and love for Nabi SAW
can be judged from her behavior towards her own father.
Umm
Habibah - Ramlah bint Abi Sufyan – Steadfast in her faith.
Waraqah
bin Nawfal, 'Uthman bin Huwayrith bin Asad, Zayd bin 'Amr bin Nafil
and 'Ubaydullah bin Jahash were four friends who were disheartened by
idol worship in Arabia. They used to get together and discuss this.
One night they came to a decision to search the pure religion of
Ibrahim AS which was the straight path of righteousness. After
meeting they moved in different directions to find the pure religion
of the Prophet Ibrahim AS.
Waraqah
bin Nawfal gave up idol worship, stopped eating flesh of animals
sacrificed in idols' names and knew Torah and Injil by heart.
His
cousin Khadijah RA had taken Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon
him) to him on the occasion of the first revelation in the cave of
Hira. Waraqah told her that it was the same Angel in the cave who
delivered Messages from Allah to earlier Prophets, and that Muhammad
must be the chosen Last Messenger, whose coming was foretold in both
the Torah and the Injil. He would soon be elevated to that great
position, and the whole nation would turn against him and he would be
forced to flee his motherland. He passed away before Muhammad (peace
and blessings be upon him) openly declared himself the Last Prophet
of Allah.
'Uthman
bin Huwayrith bin Asad, traveled to Syria, and worked as a missionary
for Christianity. He became a close friend of the Roman Emperor
Caesar and was elevated to the papal position.
Zayd
bin 'Amr bin Nafil stopped worshipping idols. He gave up eating dead
animals and drinking their blood. He hated eating the flesh of the
animals sacrificed and often talked of the pure religion of the
Prophet Ibrahim AS (peace and blessings be upon him). He too died
before the proclamation of Muhammad as the Messenger of Allah.
'Ubaydullah
bin Jahash fell into doubts between truth and falsehood. He married
the beautiful, intelligent and well-educated daughter of the Qurayshi
chieftain, Abu Sufyan Sakhr bin Harb.
It was
around this time that Makkah was shaken by the news that Muhammad
(peace and blessings be upon him) was rejecting all the idols. He
invited people to worship Allah SWT and proclaimed he was His Last
Prophet and Messenger. The Wise daughter of Abu Sufyan, Ramlah,
accepted Islam and so did her husband. His two brothers 'Abdullah bin
Jahash and Abu Ahmad bin Jahash had also become Muslims. Her sisters,
Zaynab binti Jahash and Hamnah binti Jahash too entered Islam. The
former had joined the select group of the Mother of the Believers.
The whole family was fortunate to have obeyed the call to Islam, but
while in Abyssinia 'Ubaydullah had the misfortune to reject Islam
after having accepted it.
Abu
Sufyan Sakhr bin Harb was a chieftain of the Quraysh, who led the
disbelievers in many of their wars against the Muslims. Besides his
daughter Ramlah, he had two sons, Yazid and Mu'awiyah. Ramlah
accepted Islam when the Muslims were facing a lot of opposition and
were being cruelly persecuted. Abu Sufyan was a very powerful man,
but he was helpless in the matter of his daughter Ramlah. She was a
helpless frail girl, but he could not stop her from accepting Islam,
when she openly declared herself a Muslim.
Meanwhile,
after surveying the situation the Prophet (peace and blessings be
upon him) decided that the staunch supporters of Islam had taken
enough of the oppression from the Quraysh. They would have to
migrate, and he ordered them to leave for Abyssinia, where the ruler
was known for his kindness and hospitality to refugees from
tyrannical rule.
Ramlah
bint Abu Sufyan and her husband were among the second group of
migrants who left for Abyssinia. There Ramlah gave birth to a girl,
Habibah so Ramlah was now known as Umm Habibah. The days passed
swiftly for her as she kept busy seeing to the upbringing of her
little daughter; and any free time was spent in prayer and
meditation.
One
night she dreamt that her husband's face was mutilated. She woke up
panic stricken, but was too nervous to talk about her dream to her
husband. A few days later he told her that he originally had been a
Christian and then converted to Islam. But since coming to Abyssinia
he had given a great deal of careful consideration and concluded that
Christianity offered the best system of beliefs for leading a
successful life. Hence he was recanting and going back to the fold of
Christianity. He advised her to do the same and become a Christian.
Immediately
it struck Ramlah that this was what her dream meant. The
metamorphosis of her husband's face from a superior to a lower form
and its mutilation, meant that he had lost his identity as a Muslim.
Then she told him about her dream, hoping that this at least would
instill the fear of Allah SWT in his heart. But he was too far gone
on the downward road; not only his face but his heart had been
mutilated. He started drinking and was so addicted that he was drunk
for most of the time. Umm Habibah was now growing desperate, worrying
about the future of her daughter and herself. She prayed to Allah SWT
to give her the strength to remain steadfast in her faith.
After
some time 'Ubaydullah died due to heavy drinking. Umm Habibah was
relieved, of course, but what was she to do now, how was she to
survive? Only two activities kept her occupied - the upbringing of
her daughter and her prayers. She would sometimes get together with
the other Muslim ladies in Abyssinia to talk of the latest
developments. Ruqayyah, the daughter of the Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him), Asma' bint 'Umays and Laylah bint Abi Hashmah
were the great ladies with whom she would spend her free time. But
these ladies too soon returned home. Still, there were other ladies
with whom she was friendly and she would remain patient.
Years
passed and the map of the Islamic world changed and battles continued
to be fought. The Treaty of Hudaibiyah was signed. One night while
she was fast asleep she dreamt someone called out to her, "Mother
of the Believers". When she woke up she felt a great sense of
not just happiness, but ecstasy. During the time, the Prophet (peace
and blessings be upon him) had migrated to Al-Madinah, and the first
Islamic State had been established. Someone, while talking to him
about the state of affairs in Abyssinia, mentioned that Umm Habibah,
the daughter of a wealthy and noble family was living from hand to
mouth. After the husband had recanted and died, and she was living
under tragic circumstances. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be
upon him) heard this, he sent 'Amr bin Umayyah to Najashi with the
message that if Umm Habibah liked she could marry him.
When
Najashi got the message he sent his slave girl Abraha to Umm Habibah.
Umm Habibah was overjoyed when she heard of the proposal, she was so
happy that she rewarded Abraha with all the silver jewellery she was
wearing - bangles, anklets and rings. Abraha also told her she should
appoint someone as her representative for the ceremony. Umm Habibah
nominated her relative from the tribe of Quraysh, Khalid bin Sa'id
bin 'Aas.
That
very evening Najashi sent a message to Ja'far bin Abi Talib RA asking
him to bring all his Muslim friends to his palace. When all the
refugee Muslims were assembled in the court, he announced the news of
Umm Habibah's marriage. After praising Almighty Allah he said he had
received a request from His Messenger to arrange for his marriage
with Umm Habibah, and he was giving her a dowry of four hundred
Dinars.
Then
Umm Habibah's representative, Khalid bin Sa'id bin 'Aas, read the
marriage vows and said,
'All
Praise is for Allah, and I praise Him, seek His help and ask His
forgiveness. I bear witness that None has the right to be worshipped
but Allah SWT and Muhammad SAW is His Servant and His Messenger, to
whom He has sent with true Religion and a guidance to the Right Path
to overpower His Religion over all the false religions though the
polytheists will not like it. I have accepted the proposal of the
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and married Umm Habibah
bint Abu Sufyan to him. May Allah bless this marriage and make it
fruitful for Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him).
Najashi
then gave four hundred Dinars to Khalid bin Sa'id. When all the
guests rose to leave, Najashi asked them to stay on for a dinner he
arranged in celebration of the marriage.
Umm
Habibah was so grateful to Allah SWT for the honor bestowed on her
by making her one of the Mothers of the Believers that she sent for
Abraha and gave her a sum of fifty Dinars. She said by the Grace of
Allah she now had plenty, and apologized for not having rewarded her
earlier in a suitable manner, as she had that time nothing but the
little pieces of jewelry she had given her. She asked Abraha to make
clothes and jewelry for herself. Abraha respectfully presented her
with a little bag. It contained some very expensive perfumes which
Najashi had asked his wives to send for Umm Habibah. And Abraha
presented her with the same jewelry she had received earlier from
her, apologizing for her lack of resources. She also sent a message
for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), saying she had
embraced Islam, but had kept it a secret. She said when Umm Habibah
met the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), beloved of all
Muslims, she should convey her greetings without fail and this would
be the greatest favor she could do for a poor woman.
When
Umm Habibah reached Al-Madinah she told the Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him) about the happenings in Abyssinia and about
the goodness of Najashi and how the wedding had been organized. She
also told him about the slave girl Abraha and the respectful
greetings she had sent him. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon
him) was very pleased with her message; returning her greetings, he
prayed that Allah should bless her with plenitude. Abu Sufyan heard
about his daughter's marriage and he expressed happiness in spite of
the fact that he had not yet accepted Islam. He said the Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him) was the youth who would never lose
face, and always be honored.
When
the Quraysh broke the Treaty of Hudaibiyah, Abu Sufyan came to
Al-Madinah to renew the treaty. He visited his daughter; just as he
was about to sit down Umm Habibah quickly stepped forward and rolled
up the light mattress which was spread out. He was surprised and
asked her if he was not worthy of the mattress, or the mattress was
not worthy of him. She replied that actually it was a mattress used
by a very pure and clean Prophet, and no idol worshipper could sit on
it, as he was unclean. She had therefore rolled it up and put it out
of his way. Abu Sufyan was very embarrassed and said she had
forgotten her manners since moving away from him. She answered that
the manners of Islam had taught her different values and cleanliness
had a different meaning for her now.
Since
he was not familiar with these concepts he was offended. She said I
was thankful that Allah SWT guided me to the path of Islam. I was
surprised that my father, in spite of being an important chieftain of
one of the leading tribes of the Quraysh, had not yet accepted Islam.
He was in a lofty position by worldly standards, but as far as the
norms of a rational religion were concerned, he was really backward.
How could he possibly worship a piece of stone that was both blind
and deaf, could neither respond to his prayers nor reject them. Abu
Sufyan was not happy with what his daughter told him. He asked her
how he could possibly, at this stage, turn his back on a religion his
forefathers had followed from generations and left his daughter's
house.
It was
the earnest desire of Umm Habibah that her father and brother should
come into the fold of Islam and earn the reward of a blessed
Paradise. She did not want them to pass away from this world in a
state of disbelief like Abu Jahl, Walid bin Al-Mughirah, 'Aas bin
Wa'il, 'Utbah bin Rabi'ah and Shaybah bin Rabi'ah. On the occasion of
the conquest of Makkah, when Abu Sufyan and Mu'awiyah pledged
allegiance to Allah and His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon
him), her joy knew no bounds. The following Ayah was revealed,
"Perhaps
Allah will made friendship between you and those whom you hold as
enemies. And Allah has power (over all things), and Allah is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."[Noble Quran 60:7]
'Abdullah
bin 'Abbas says that this particular Verse was revealed on the
occasion of Umm Habibah's marriage to the Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him). This marriage influenced important chieftains
and prominent leaders like Abu Sufyan, Mu'awiyah and Yazid bin Abu
Sufyan to understand Islam and join the ranks of the Prophet (peace
and blessings be upon him).
Abu
Al-Qasim bin Asakar quoting Hasan says once Mu'awiyah was visiting
the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), while he was seated
with Umm Habibah beside him. When he turned to leave, Prophet (peace
and blessings be upon him) called out to him and invited him to sit
with them.
The
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) then told him that he
sincerely wished that they three should sit together and have the
pure drink of Paradise there.
These
words imply that they will all three, Allah Willing, be in Paradise.
In a similar manner the glad tidings of Paradise for Umm Habibah are
implied in a very famous statement of the Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him) that he has been commanded by Allah to marry
only ladies who were deserving of Paradise.
So
this means that in this very earthly existence all the Mothers of the
Believers had been given the joyous news that they would go to
Paradise in the Hereafter.
The
name of Najashi, the ruler of Abyssinian, was actually Ashamah,
meaning 'gift'. Since he was a very generous man who was always
giving gifts to the distressed and needy. His name was very
appropriate. He was a very kind and sympathetic ruler. He became a
Muslim after he saw the Islamic way of life of the refugees from
Makkah. The Angel Jibril informed the Prophet (peace and blessings be
upon him) when he passed away due to natural causes. The Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him) prayed to Allah for the forgiveness
of his sins. All the refugees - the Companions and women Companions -
who found peace and freedom of religious worship in his kingdom, were
very grieved when they received the news of his death. All of them
remembered his sympathy, his kindness, his cooperation and the
protection he provided them in difficult times. They prayed that his
sins be forgiven and he be given a place in Paradise.
Umm
Habibah, due to her knowledge, mastery over Hadith and eloquence was
ranked third among the Mothers of the Believers. The first in rank
was 'A'ishah and the second was Umm Salamah There are sixty-five
Hadiths narrated by her. Some of them are quoted by men like
Mu'awiyah, 'Abdullah bin 'Utbah bin Abu Sufyan, 'Urwah bin Zubayr,
Salem bin Shawal bin Maki, Abu Al-Jarrah Qurashi. The ladies - Zaynab
bint Umm Salamah Makhzumiyyah and Safiyyah bint Shaybah 'Abdariah
quoted others.
In
Sahih Al-Bukhari it is mentioned that three days after receiving news
of her father's death Umm Habibah applied perfume. She then said
there was no need for her to apply perfume that day, but the Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him) had said,
'It is
not permissible for a Muslim lady who believes in Allah SWT and the
Last day of Judgment to mourn for more than three days for a dead
person, except for her husband. Then she should observe mourning for
four months and ten days.'
There
is another Hadith associated with Umm Habibah quoted by Abul Jarrah
Qurashi in Musnad Abu Ya'la regarding Siwak. She says, the Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him) said,
'If it
had not been so difficult, I would have liked my Ummah (followers) to
clean their teeth with Siwak before every prayer just as they perform
the ablution before every prayer.'
Another
Hadith she narrated is quoted in Musnad Abu Ya'la, Musnad Abu Ahmad
and by several other authoritative sources of Hadiths like Abu Dawud,
An-Nasa'i, At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah. This relates to the noon
prayer. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,
'Whoever
prays four voluntary Rak'ah (units) of prayer before and after the
compulsory noon prayer Allah will make Hell-fire forbidden for him.'
When
someone conveyed the message that 'Uthman bin 'Affan RA was martyred
in his house after being besieged, she was so upset that she prayed
the killer's hands should be cut off and that he should be disgraced
and shamed in public. And Allah SWT fulfilled her prayer. A man
entered the murderer's house and attacked him with a sword; and when
the murderer tried to protect himself with his right hand, it got Cut
off. Then he tried to flee from him and ran into the street, holding
his sheet with his teeth. But he could not manage it, the sheet fell,
and he was left standing naked in front of all the people on the
street.
During
her brother Mu'awiyah rule she visited Damascus, and it was during
his caliphate that she passed away in Al-Madinah in the year 44th,
after Hijrah. Before her death Umm Habibah sent messages to 'A'ishah
and Umm Salamah apologizing for any offense she might have caused
them when disagreements or differences had occurred. Both 'A'ishah
and Umm Salamah were very touched by this gesture.
"O
the one in (complete) rest and satisfaction! Come back to your Lord -
well pleased and well pleasing. Enter you then among My (honored)
servants, and enter you My Paradise."[Noble Quran 89:27-30]
